There's more than one kind of fear at the end of life

A couple of days ago, I wrote advance directives are not the answer to the question of end of life care because changing circumstances could very well lead a changing of decisions. In the Saturday, April 2, Toronto Star, columnist Helen Henderson wrote that is exactly what happened to her. (The article is no longer available free on line.)
Ms. Henderson wrote about people who saw the images of Terri Schiavo in her hospital bed and began to wonder "If that were me..." Continuing with Ms. Henderson's words,

That's how the fear starts. If it were me ...
If it were me 40 years ago contemplating a life with multiple sclerosis, I might have said I'd rather shoot myself.
Now, I know the part of life I value most started after the diagnosis.

She quotes, in turn, from disability rights lawyer Harriet McBryde Johnson, who has herself endured more than four decades of a muscle-wasting disease. If there Terri Schiavo was still "aware and conscious, it is possible that, like most people who live with severe disability for as long as she has, she has abandoned her preconceived fears of the life she is now living."

Some people had suggested Terri Schiavo's supporters had a tough time "letting her go" because they feared death. And there may be some truth in that. But there are many things people can fear. Some fear death. And some fear weakness and disability. Some fear not being able to do things they take for granted now. Some fear losing their self-sufficiency. Some fear being dependent on others. Some fear being a burden.

Ms Henderson noted what so many others had noted. "The way we treat the most vulnerable among us defines us as a society."

At the end of life as at its beginning, growing means facing and outgrowing our fears and claiming the strength and hope that comes from care and compassion.